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Chuck Norris Jokes

Discussion in 'Everything Chat' started by tyson_hunter, Oct 23, 2011.

  1. tyson_hunter Member

    Post all of your Chuck Norris jokes here!

    People read them, they laugh, they tell friends!

    P.S. ONLY "CHUCK NORRIS"

    P.P.S. Don't re-post things... If "Chucky Norris!" (example) is already up, do NOT say it again.
  2. tyson_hunter Member

    Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, the speed of light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris.
  3. tyson_hunter Member

    Chuck Norris doesn't win, he just allowes you to lose.
  4. adurlene Banned

    No no no. Chuck norris has a new competitor of awesomeness. And his name is, CHUCK TESTA!
  5. sgtspaghetti Distinguished Member

    No. Just no.
    Chuck norris doesent have a control button on his keyboard.
    He is in control.
  6. tyson_hunter Member

    Lol. I don't know another one! Rggh!!
  7. tyson_hunter Member

    Wait, what? Isn't it "Chuck Tesla"? Or Testla??

    o_O
  8. Dan_the_man85 Exalted Member

    Minecraft Username:
    Dan_the_man85
    Damn, you beat me to posting this.

    When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he actually pushes the world down.

    Chuck Norris got in a car accident and lost both legs. He walked awa from the accident.

    Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

    Someone once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldnt shit from anybody.
  9. nmckay Distinguished Member

    Minecraft Username:
    nmckay
    Chuck Norris once vacationed at the Virgin Islands after he left they were just called The Islands.
  10. tyson_hunter Member

    I made a discussion and I lost... But, after all, tyson_hunter doesn't lose, he just allowes you to win.

    Wait... That didn't come out right. :S
  11. Runge Distinguished Member

    Minecraft Username:
    Rungejk
    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
    Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
  12. Runge Distinguished Member

    Minecraft Username:
    Rungejk
    Chuck Norris can find the square roots of negative numbers.
  13. Erollinus Propdep of Minitrue

    Minecraft Username:
    Erollinus
    Moved to Everything Chat. While it is awesome, it's still off-topic from Timcraft.
  14. SakabaShogun ಥ_ಥ

    Minecraft Username:
    SakabaShogun
    wait till you get to pre-calculus buddy, anyone of that level or higher can do it too.
    square root of -16? 4i
    there ya go, sonny
  15. adurlene Banned

    Chuck norris got hungry, so he ate pi
  16. TheGoodDoctor373 Distinguished Member

    Minecraft Username:
    TheGoodDoctor373
    Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim on land.
  17. CrazyMiner02 Distinguished Member

    Minecraft Username:
    CrazyMiner02
    The best I've heard ^
  18. Dan_the_man85 Exalted Member

    Minecraft Username:
    Dan_the_man85
    Lol. I love TGDs.

    One of the stranger ones I've heard:
    Chuck Norris can make his pee do tricks in the air.
  19. Pupps90 Distinguished Member

    Minecraft Username:
    pupps90
    Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.

    When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chick Norris.

    Chuck Norris doesn't turn on the lights, he turns the dark off.

    There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris... They had to rename it because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
    :)
  20. XxRizzyxX Member

    When Chuck Norris takes a slap shot it gets blocked.... But goes in.

    When Chuck Norris gets a penalty, he just scores from the penalty box.

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