Many of times I’ve been asked the age-old question, “Jelly! Yo, bro, amigo, compadre, hermano, corazón, buddy, dude, besty, fuck face… you a chick?” In answer to this… techinically, yes. I know; I know: “JELLY, WHAT? YOU SOUND LIKE A DUDE. AND YOUR PICTURES—YOU LOOK LIKE A DUDE.” Well, thanks, I do try. Now, I understand that I’m being a bit vague here, but it’s because this is a little hard to type out (my hands are nervously shaking just a tad). I’ve been on this server, for what, two years now? I’ve met some great friends, built some awesome shit, and joked about anything from politics to that damn Asian known as Blacklite. It’s about time I confess a secret I have yet to tell anyone. This secret requires some back story, so bear with me. I grew up here in my Illinois home here near the Michigan Wisconsin border an explorative child. I remember, being only five, running through my town in the chilled autumn air not caring in the least, hoping to find something to entertain the impossible-to-entertain mind of a toddler. While my parents unknowingly tried to enforce the latest craze—dolls, tv shows, ect.—I found myself bored, lacking any sort of fulfillment. When they needed their time to rest after work or just wanted to be alone for three minutes (as I was a needy child), my parents would lock me in a my room with said amusement, hoping that I would be able to find some joy in them. Of course, I discovered no such thing, and it only fueled my desire to explore the streets of my neighborhood. It wasn’t always a run-for-my-life-my-parents-are-chasing-me-Jesus-this-is-awesome adventure whenever I escaped my parents’ grasp. Many times I simply snuck to the backyard to dig in the dirt and look at the critters that lurked below my feet, or I would climb the well-grown tree that had been in the garden when my father and pregnant mother first moved into the house. This continued well into my middle-school years. I was a bit of an outcast, as is the case whenever you deemed “different” in that time. In my solitude, I would do the same as always: explore, climb, and examine. Although somewhat lonely, it was a simple life, and a life I enjoyed. I suppose during this time, my parents began to question my lacking desire in the generalized frilly things I had been presented throughout my life. I remember the conversation my father prompted one day near the end of my 7th year of school (obviously, I don’t have a perfect memory of the event; it’s paraphrased). “Hun, you don’t seem to like any of the things we give you.” “Well, I don’t.” “Any reason as to why?” “I simply just don’t like them. They are boring.” “Hm, you really are a tomboy!” I took it as a joke, but it got me thinking. I had never taken comfort in girly things. After some days of thought, I decided on something simple: why not embrace it? I had no fear of being dissimilar, nor did I believe that my parents would mind. So… that’s exactly what I did. As I grew comfortable with myself, I began to start my journey of becoming a sexual being (middle school: the time of horrible hormones); however, instead of looking at the boys like any normal girl, I found myself more enthralled with the same sex, giving no interest to the boys around me. For a while, I felt this was normal and thought nothing of it. But as the months drew on, and my friends were constantly talking about the cute boys they lived next to, I began to question myself. The first I heard of the word “transvestite” was in my 8th year of schooling during my required sex ed class. A kid, most likely as a joke, asked the teacher what one was. After she explained, I realized how similar I sounded to one—except the actual change in gender. I again started to contemplate, and the more I thought, the more I began to understand who I really was and wanted to be, and the more I wanted to try hormones. There was no way in hell I would come out with this to my parents without serious consideration. I took a while—about a year and a half—to really reflect on the decision and its consequences. After some time, I agreed to myself that I truly did want this permanent change in my body, and the only true bad outcome was a strange look from my parents. Suffice to say, when I finally opened up to my parents about my feelings, they accepted me with open arms. They rambled slightly about how they had always felt that something was up about my attitude towards things girly. After some conversation, we all agreed that they would happily support my boyish ways, and that, after another year of thinking, if I still wanted to begin hormones, they would happily oblige. In that time, many changes were made: to my wardrobe, to my amusement sources, to my friends, and to many other aspects. I was finally becoming truly happy with my life and the people that surrounded me. And here I am about a year after our little conversation. I am to begin hormone treatment in a few weeks. I will finally become the man I have always wanted to become. I wanted to thank all of you for giving me the opportunity to escape my life every now and then in both Minecraft and the forums itself. While not a hard journey compared to most, it was a very stressful one, and sometimes I needed to leave my life to feel sane; that is exactly what this server provided. TL;DR: I’m sure you all have heard the story, “Body of a gender, mind of another!” Well, that’s exactly the case here. Edit: Also, I'll post a picture of me from when I was younger if I can find a photo.